Ghosts in The Shadows

I was always afraid...

At home...

aren't we all...

I became more or less afraid as time passed but there was always fear,,,

There was always fear...

My first thoughts of fear were of the roaches in the apartment...

I still to this day recall the countless moments of fear associated with cockroaches 

They were a normal part of my life

Roommates

There were nights I could imagine they were in bed with me...

The first apartment I recall living in...my mother stood at the sink washing the dishes...

It was a simple apartment of two very large rooms, at least to me they were large...when you're five years everything is large..

Two rooms side by side, the entry that opened into the kitchen that itself opened into the living room...

Beside that the other room, the bedroom, that configuration harder to recall, to imagine

A large bedroom, a bathroom at the far end...

I recall people with the duties they fulfilled...

There was Mr Roja, the building super/maintenance man who was always in the bathroom fixing the pipes...

The sore that was the wall that was supposed to cover the plumbing but instead was how the rats got into the apartment...

I know I wasn't the only one but I recall living in a rat, mouse and roach infested apartment...

The brown bags we used for trash which often overflowed and from a distance one could watch the bags move on their own because of the mice in them...

I still wonder, how did anybody get out of there sane...was one ever...

We all found the outlets in our lives...

Mine was writing... I didn't write to be published but as an outlet, to get away...

Darkness held the shadows the tomes of fear...look hard enough and I saw the shadows waiting in the darkness to develop and become the world...in the darkness the shadows were these amorphous forms of clay waiting in the nothingness to become real, formless forms wanting to be what you imagined to fear and love.... 

There were nights the world was like a horror film as made the effort for water; in the kitchen where I would catch swarms of roaches race for cover as I turned the light on and caught them partying, their exoskeletons of armor clicking so loud... and if I was too afraid to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen and go to the bathroom and scoop a double handful but even there the roaches were on parade, quietly crossing the plastic shower curtain, the floor, the toilet bowl...

Evernote helps you remember everything and get organized effortlessly. Download Evernote.