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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Who Am I? I Am The Good and The Bad...

I get it often from people, who recognize me as perhaps someone they know or know about, who they revere or despise. These are the people who through me see tragedy, love, greatness, hate a channel to that person that has never left their thoughts...

I don't know who I am, I don't seem to have any sort of history that I can recall, only those whose lives I've lived..I don't know how long I've been like this, forever it seems. I know that I am exhausted. Am I being punished for an act I can't recall or am I a divine messenger...who am I? What am I? Either way I seem to be screwed...

I am always alone, a quiet writer of innocuous fiction nobody reads enough of to provide enough of a living, so yeah, there's a regular job. I'm forced into these social jobs, forced into making a living meeting people, testing my resilience, why, what have I done. I've tried applying for other jobs, I've had other jobs none of which last, the jobs I seem to get without effort require social interaction...

She, Tina, fell for me, can't have that but she won't layoff. She insists we're a pair...No Tina, we're not, but do I have a choice? The gamester doesn't think so. I'm the sacrificial pawn in the game, the canary in the coal mine, send me in to see if the relationship works, make it work and leave behind resolution for others but the lamb...

I know the person I've become and its a person I have to deal with and its better I deal with him alone. Who I used to be, who knows? If ever he existed; your guess is as good as mine..

We all bear a weight, something that keeps us grounded while still forcing us to carry a heavy load. I don't care how powerful you think you are, how free, you will always be a beast of burden...

©ralph pitre
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